Getting Back to You…or the new you!

Getting Back to You..or the new you-2

“So what is it that YOU like? What makes YOU happy?” she asked right after she’d sputtered off her list of amazing and fascinating accomplishments. My mind immediately went to folded laundry, sparkling counter tops, and freshly prepped meals. Was I serious? Were these really the things that brought me extreme joy now?  What happened to the girl who celebrated all month-long for her birthday, skydived to defeat fear, and kept a journal full of endless dreams and limitless possibilities. The reality is that yes, this was now my new form of happiness, but nothing on this list of duties was even about me. Everything I had thought of consisted of caring for someone else. It slowly dawned on me that I needed to be more intentional about who I was and who I intended to be. I made a commitmment right then and there to rejuvanate my now stagnate life as a mom because nothing just happens.

Old ways won’t open new doors…Be honest with yourself. When was the last time you tried something new? Go on… think about it….I’ll wait. If you’re still having to jog down memory lane, then it’s been too long! lol Step out of your routine for a minute and think of something you wish you could do….now do it! Is it learning to swim, booking a trip, or maybe it’s something as crazy as oh I don’t know…..starting a blog! lol Whatever it is you wish you could do, just do it. Shake up your mundane routine with something simple (or drastic) and add some spice to your life! You don’t have to scratch everything off your list in one day. You just have to start somewhere with something. There’s no telling what your hobbies or passions could lead to in life, so just get started.

Write the vision, make it plain….Most of us think of vision boards as a new year, new me approach to life, but that’s just not true! Vision boards can be used at any moment you feel moved to do something fresh and arousing with your life. Start off by using anything you can get your hands on to create a visual image of what you would like to achieve. Pinterest, Instagram, magazines, and websites are all a great way to boost your creativity, and they also offer endless ideas to expand on your orignial dream. Now let me caution you. I’m all for a good social media motivation, but using someone else’s lifestory to compare yourself for the worse is not healthy at all. That is not what I’m saying to you should do. If someone else’s social media influence has you singning woe is me, you probably need to take a step back and try again another day. Instead, I’m talking about grabbing a journal, poster board, or (if you’re tech savvy) a digital portfolio to collect images that inspire you. These images show motivate and remind you of who you really intend to be and what you really intend to do!

Help Wanted…. It was my thinking that when I became a wife and mom I had to do everything myself. For some insane reason, I thought asking for help made me less of a mom or wife. The problem with this is that either you can choose to slow down and accept help, or your body will force you to slow down and get help. Trust me, I know. My little plate is FULL. Yet in my mind, I feel like there’s always room for one more responsibility. This is when you need to be honest with yourself and say, “Girl I can’t do it all!” There is nothing wrong with asking for help! Reach out to family, use a cleaning service, or just have a heart to heart conversation with your spouse about how he can pitch in a little more. If you keep giving off the superwoman vibe, you’ll keep getting the superwoman treatment. You recieve the vibes you give, so choose wisely. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and sometimes you need to remind those around you that your cup needs to be filled.

Make it a Date (with your girls not your man)… This makes me think of Destiny’s Child’s  Jumpin’ Jumpin, “ladies leave your man at home..,” lol,  but that’s exactly what we need to do sometimes. Ladies, you need your girls. I absolutely love my friends, but I’m a true introvert at heart. Since becoming a mom, I’ve realized more than ever the value of friendships. As life evolves and experiences happen, your friends are not only your social companions, but they also become your life coaches and teachers. I certainly don’t believe in airing out all the dirty laundry of your household, but I do believe God surronds us with like minded people who may be able to share advice from similar situations. Sometimes we’re trying to create the picture perfect image for our life and someone right next to us is experiencing the same thing we’ve been praying about. Talk to your girls. Go out. Have fun! You may not be able to hang like you used to, but you can at least find a nice chill spot in town to laugh it up all night long! Everyone wins when mommy is happy. So leave the mom guilt at home, dress up, and go out! I promise you…you deserve it.

All I’m saying is if you’ve lost the old you, that’s fine. You can leave her right where she’s at, but you do need to find the new you. I mean, let’s just be honest. You’re probably not the same. Your priorities are different and becoming a mom makes you see the world through a completely different set of eyes. Just remember to stop and focus on you from time to time. You always give your all to everyone else, but it’s ok to save a little spark for yourself sometimes too.

I’m Losing My Mind and My Hair! 

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My postpartum hair loss didn’t begin until Livvy was about 3 months. I thought I was one of the lucky ones. There were a few loose strands here and there, but nothing to be alarmed about. Oh, but when it happened it came in full force. My bathroom floor was covered with hair, and my sink wasn’t spared any strands as well. I thought, “Maybe no one will notice.” So I threw my hair into a tight bun and walked the halls of my school with confidence. Head help high. A little sashay in my walk and cute new clothes for my postpartum body. Until one of my kids shouted out, “Oooo Ms. O, they’re talking about your edges!” LOL Kids will definietly force you to tackle reality instead of becoming comfortable in a fantasy world. Now I knew my edges were a little (ok, very) thin, but now I knew the rest of the world realized they were thin as well. That’s when it really hit me. I wasn’t the same woman I was a few months ago. Everything about me had changed. The way I viewed the world, my body, and even my hair. I had to realize that the new changes needed to be embraced. Some I gladly accepted, some were temporary, and some needed my attention in order to return to a more accustomed state. However, the fact still remained. I was a new woman, and this was my new normal. Now one thing I was not willing to accept was my edges providing the comedic material for students at school. LOL That’s when I picked up the phone, called Margaret and asked,”What can we do?”

Pregnancy and Postpartum Hair Loss with Margaret Fahnbulleh

Pregnancy affects women in many different ways. Some women experience little to no hair changes while others experience tremendous hair growth. As a hair stylist behind the chair, I have had the honor of working with my clients before, during and after child birth. This experience has allowed me to ride the emotional rollercoaster of postpartum hair loss right along with my clients. According to the moms I service, there really isn’t anything that truly prepares you for the sudden changes that take place with pregnancy (or postpartum life), so the shocking loss of hair can be frightening if you are unaware of this possible (and very common) change. Just remember, this too shall pass, and you will get through it! Your body has just undergone an amazing process with one heck of a grand finale, so allow yourself time to heal. Many moms experience postpartum hair shedding, so trust me when I say you’re not alone. Breath, relax and let’s tackle this together.

Wait….why is my hair on the floor?!

Your body’s normal routine of hair growth is altered due to the change of pregnancy hormones. Instead of a continuous hair growth cycle, your hair may remain in a “resting place.” This basically means that the daily hair shedding that should have taken place may not be as frequent during pregnancy. Therefore, the dead hair rests upon your head. However, once you give birth, your fluctuating hormones attempt to return to normal, and then the extreme postpartum hair shedding begins! Remember, this is only temporary, and (more than likely) your hair will return to its normal state. It just takes time. Many of my clients call me in a panic, and I have to remind them of the importance of staying positive about their hair loss. Adding unnecessary stress only make matters worse. I do understand that’s easier said than done, but it’s been proven that higher stress levels can actually increase hair shedding. You already have your hands full with your new bundle of joy. Don’t allow a temporary situation to lead to permanent hair loss.

So what can you do to help with hair shedding?

If you start to notice hair loss at any stage, I suggest you consult a hair care professional to get your tresses on a healthy hair regimen as soon as possible. However, if you are unable to sneak away, there are still some things you can do from home yourself. A solid at home routine includes a good deep conditioner as well as a protein moisturizer that should be alternated every two weeks. In order to save on the splurge of multiple products, I recommend Biosilk Hydrating Therapy shampoo and conditioner. These products contain both the conditioner and protein you’ll need with each wash, so there’s no need to alternate. Also, be mindful of your diet during this phase. It may be easy to dig into any junk food that’s easily accessible but take it easy. Everything you feed your body will have some type of effect. It’s up to you to decide the outcome you want to achieve. Choose wisely. I also suggest you continue your prenatal vitamins which can assist in restoring hair health. If prenatal vitamins are no longer an option, Nature’s Made Hair Skin and Nails Gummies are my favorite source of nutrition aimed at hair growth. I highly recommend these to any of my clients who are experiencing any type of hair loss. As always, please check with your physician before taking any supplements of any kind, especially when breastfeeding is involved. Last but not least, try to stay away for the comfy ponytail with hair ties and bands as much as possible. Instead, opt for a clip or even bobby pins to hold your hair in place. When your hair is pulled into a ponytail with a band, the meeting point of the hair and where the band meets can result in even more breakage.

Mommy Gossip

As women, we can sometimes allow the societal pressures from celebrities, men, and sometimes our own inner circles to drive us into an obsession over our outer appearance. We can easily forget that the added external features aren’t the only ways we are made beautiful. Your “snap back,” hair, and even your mind will all return to you at some point. ♥ For now, just remember that you and you alone are enough. You’ve done something no one else on this earth has done. You have given birth to your little one. You were chosen to be his/her personal guardian angel, and that alone makes you beautiful.

Meet Margaret Fahnbulleh

Hair stylist and colorist Margaret Fahnbulleh has been in the cosmetology field for more than 15 years. She is a hair educator for Farouk Hair System and continues to train at various world renowned hair companies for her own continued education. Her latest accomplishments include graduating from the Loreal Institute in New York City and becoming a 2014 winner for the 40 Under 40 Beauty Professionals to watch.  In addition to running her own successful hair studio, FAB Salon in Houston, TX, she has also created a traveling hair service which caters to bridal parties. Margaret is not only extremely talented, but she is also passionate about her craft. Check her out at www.fabthesalon.com to add a fresh look to your style today!

FAB Salon
1112 W 11th St.
Houston, Texas 77008

My New Normal

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Picture this….you take a pregnancy test (you know, just in case), so you can enjoy a glass of wine. The box says it will take two minutes, but before you can blink it reads, “POSITIVE!” Your heart starts racing, and your mind is filled with confusion. How did this happen?! I mean, I know how this happened, but how did this happen?! Ohhhh….that’s how it happened. You suddenly remember that night. In a nutshell, that’s pretty much how I was introduced to mommyhood. Fast forward to sixteen months later, and everything is back to normal. My house is in order, my career is thriving, and my body is better than ever! Talk about bringing sexy back! Did I sound convincing? Chiiiile please…..my house is a mess, my boobs are leaking, and making it to work on time only happens in my dreams.

Addicted to Mommyhood wants moms to stop aiming for perfection and start aiming for balance. We’ve all had our moments of frustration and allowed guilt to beat us down. But guess what? It okay to be #addictedtomommyhood and still want more for your career, relationship, and even enjoy a night out with the girls! It’s also okay to admit that you have no idea what you’re doing, and barely making it day by day.  We’re all walking this journey. So why not walk it together?

This is my new normal, and I’m just trying to find my way!