Every mom is doing it her own way, and every mom is constantly trying to find her way. As moms, we’re constantly comparing ourselves to one another as we scroll through social media. We see the Kodak smiles, the priceless moments and the gourmet meals all made possible by everyone else. Then there’s you (and me lol). You haven’t straightened your hair in days (ok, weeks), you’re satisfied with wearing anything that isn’t stained, and your little one knows just the right time to poop as you walk out the door.
Everyone’s situation is different and everyone’s support system is different. No two moms are the same, so why are we comparing ourselves?! Some spouses travel for work, some moms travel for work, and then you have the stretched thin moms who are just trying to make it. So again, I’m asking, “Why are we comparing ourselves to one another? We put everyone else before ourselves, and we still lay our heads down at night concerned that we haven’t done enough. Yet, we’re the ones who have cooked dinner, given baths, tamed the kids, washed loads of laundry, and anything else that requires lifting a finger. We kiss the scraped knees, tend to the broken hearts, and provide the gentleness within our households that only we can provide. Trust me, you’re doing more than enough.
You may envy your yoga wearing, PTA president neighbor because she appears to have it all together. But honey let me tell you, everything that glitters isn’t gold. I’m pretty sure if we did a pop-up visit to Perfect Patty’s house right now, we wouldn’t find anything even remotely close to perfection. Patty only reveals what she wants you to see. Constant comparison only kills your joy and robs you (and your little ones) of precious moments that are reserved for you and your family. You’ll never become Perfect Patty. Patty’s not even Perfect Patty. She might have figured out what works best for her, but that doesn’t make her mommyhood any better than yours. She’s just found her way. Now it’s time for you to find yours, but you’ll never find it if you’re busy highlighting her showcased successes while dwelling on your failures. You’ll never be a perfect her. You’ll only be the perfect you.
Stop beating up on yourself. Know that you are already doing an amazing job. Look at just how powerful you already are at this point. You’re the glue that keeps it all together in your home. Without you, exactly how long do you think your household would last? Of course, there’s more than can be done. There will always more that can be done, but take a look around and know that you’ve already done enough!
Step by step. Let’s face it. We’re not going to change our entire lives overnight, but we can focus on one thing at a time. I’m very aware that I need to tackle the mountain of clothes that need to be folded, I also need to focus on my tardiness. Then there’s my frozen meal routine that my husband always thinks is made from scratch. Oh, and then there’s the fact that I don’t feel I spend enough time with my Livvy. Child, the list could go on, but I know I’m not going to turn all this around overnight. This week, I’ll focus on my fashionably late trend by planning to leave by trying to prep Livvy’s bag at night.
Mommy Motivation If you’re not using another mommy’s strong points as motivation, you need to change your mindset. If someone is making mommyhood work for her, let that be enough reason to say, “Hey, I can do this too!” It’s probably even a good idea to ask how she’s getting it done. Don’t hurt yourself by envying from the sideline. Get out there, talk to other mommies, and get stuff done!
Prioritize> Balance>Perfection. You’d be surprised at just how many moms are feeling overwhelmed with life. Prior to Livvy, I thought everyone was running households, careers, and marriages flawlessly. This was until I sat in on a conversation with a diverse group of women from my church. Our backgrounds ranged from single mothers to seasoned grandmothers. That’s when I was hit with the truth bomb. NO ONE had the answer to achieving a perfect life and having it all. This so-called “balanced thing” came with fine print, and the idea of perfection was a straight up LIE! On this day, the word prioritize became my best friend. By the end of the conversation, I’d realized there are different seasons in life, and different seasons require different attention. Life will always throw something new our way. It’s up to us to decide how to prioritize these curveballs on our list of life’s demands.