“Uhh…he’s in here somewhere,” I stammered when a motherly colleague asked to see a picture of my husband. As my finger stroked past the hundreds of pictures of my Livvy, I realized just how much I had recently neglected my “big baby.” I eventually gave up and went straight to my Instagram page where I found a striking photo of him from our dating days. As I walked away, I was truly surprised at just how drastic my attentiveness towards my husband had changed. He used to be my baby (or as I call him my “bae”) that I showed off and gushed over when viewing pictures on my phone.
I understood I was a first-time mom, and the newness of mommyhood was bound to take over in some capacity. However, I didn’t realize just how much being a mom had taken over my life. Now even though I realized my attentiveness had changed, that doesn’t mean we were in a bad place. We just needed a tune up. I’ve found that constant tune ups and checkpoints are vital to our marriage’s success as parents. To be honest, my husband never even hinted at the fact that he was feeling neglected, but I knew I couldn’t continue to center my attention solely on my child without it eventually snowballing into an issue in our relationship. I needed to focus on my actions (or lack of) in the marriage and how it would present itself if not confronted soon. Was I really doing all I could to keep the romance alive? Nah. I could do better. LOL
Are Those Your Granny’s Panties?
Immediately after birth, you’ll start wearing huge Fruit of the Loom panties! This isn’t because you’ve lost your mojo. You pretty much have to wear them in order for your woohaw to heal. Things will be raw, tender, and….. torn. So honestly, you’re not thinking about your cutest undies from Victoria’s Secret, but you’re most definitely not excited about wearing your new “days of the week” panties either. But then, they get comfortable. After years of wearing v-strings up your lovely and bikini undies that grip your butt, you kind of start to like them. I mean, they’re the perfect blend of cotton, and they breathe so well against your skin at night. I know. They feel great, but let me be the first to say, “Snap out of it honey!” Do not get too comfortable wearing your Fruit of the Looms. It’s all just a trap! You’re probably a little thicker right now, and that’s ok. However, take your tail down to Victoria’s Secret and grab the 7/35$ satin panties right now. The less time you spend in your granny panties, the easier it is to ditch them.
Vic and I used to flirt all day everyday through text messages, phone conversations, and even just around the house. However, our flirtatious spirits got a little lost in the madness once we became parents. I missed those days and wanted to pick up my phone and see that I’d received a flirty text just to get me through the day. It didn’t happen and I was feeling a little down. Then I had to ask myself, “When was the last time you sent him a flirty text?” Bam… I’d just checked myself and didn’t even know it. While I was sitting there and sulking over the treatment I was wanted to receive, I hadn’t done anything to provide him with that same tender loving care. Remember, it takes two to tango honey. I picked up my phone, put together a teasing text message, and hit send. It wasn’t even thirty seconds later before I heard my phone going off and I saw it was a response from “Bae.” I guess he missed our sweet nothings just as much as I did. Someone just had to get the flirtatious games going again.
Big Babies Love Surprises
My husband works more than anyone I know. It’s just who he is and how he shows his love towards our home. Due to his hectic schedule, I realized I would have to find a way to force him to slow down and relax. Otherwise, he would just keep going and work himself into the ground. My solution for this workaholic was a surprise baecation! In order to have him pack correctly, I had his sister invite us to a “family retreat” in Austin. I also explained we would be taking a road trip to visit his parents in Dallas. (We’ve driven to both Dallas and Austin in the same day before, so this was actually pretty believable.)Once we arrived in Dallas, I unpacked Livvy’s belongings and watched Vic’s face fill with confusion. His mother grabbed Livvy and I revealed that she’d agreed to watch Livvy while we enjoyed the retreat. He beamed at the idea of some alone time with his wife, but still had no idea of our final destination. We then drove on to the DFW Airport where I revealed “another lie of love.” This time I explained a guest was flying in to join us at the retreat. I could only hold onto this lie for so long before “Mr. Gotta Know It All” started asking a million questions.LOL After watching him suffer with with curiosity, I explained we were there to catch our own flight. We rode the shuttle, bypassed check in, and walked the terminals of the airport before him noticing we were arriving at the gate for Los, Cabos Mexico! He was shocked, surprised, and more importantly grateful that I’d thought to kidnap him for the weekend. I scored major brownie points during that trip, and I’m pretty sure he considers me wife of the year!
But Did You Die?
The first time I even attempted to run a mile is when Vic and I were dating. The crisp cool air burned my lungs. My legs developed “runner’s itch,” (yeah that’s thing) and the cramps in my sides were like fire in my body. When I reached the one mile mark, I literally fell to the ground and pretty much crawled to the car. It was pathetic. However, I knew fitness was something he was very much into. Simply put, I did it because that’s what my boo likes to do, and I wanted to show interest in his hobbies. After all, he did accompany me to Painting With a Twist, and I know that was a bit of a stretch for him. I wanted to ensure I was doing my part and guarding our relationship from becoming one sided. I didn’t want to be the only one receiving thoughtful acts of love. Remembering how much he enjoyed me as a workout partner, I suggested we hit the gym together again. We were able to get in a workout date, and I was able to work on my baby belly. It was a win-win for both of us!
There’s nothing like the bond between a mother and her child, but there’s also nothing like the romance between you and your spouse. One day, the kids will be gone. They’ll start new lives, enter into college or whatever other path that may be presented their way. Don’t let your spouse be a stranger when you get to the end of your mommyhood road. Keep dating your bae, and have some fun along the way!